Around here

Jenna. by Mialy DeFelice

It is unreal to me that it has been 5 months since Jenna passed away. It has not gotten easier, and at times, when I notice the days slipping away, it is harder. I cannot reconcile this loss. And perhaps that's what makes it so hard. It's random and it's unfair. All that are left are memories.

Perhaps my favorite memories of Jenna are of a road trip that we took over winter break my freshman year of college. Despite the fact that Eric and I were broken up, she insisted that the three of us go. Perhaps she had planned it that way, but right after the trip, Eric and I decided to get back together. I do not remember much our our destination (Texas), but like all good road trips, I only really remember the journey. Did you know there is an 18 mile long bridge in Louisiana and its not even the longest bridge in the US? We saw the saddest truck stop, that boasted its own tiger. I remember the indigent look on her face when the McDonalds we stopped at for lunch was still serving breakfast, and the smile that broke after realizing that the time had changed sometime during the drive, so it was still only morning. But my favorite memory of all came after her and Eric got it into their heads that the most fun thing to do, would be to fly a kite out our car... down the interstate. I of course had about a thousand objections, but they were insistent. We went to a bunch of stores looking for a kite... any kite. Like seriously, even a kids kite. But we couldn't find anything. We finally asked someone, and were informed that it was not "kite season". Kite season?! Who knew, right? For some reason this fact has always stuck with me. Why can't you buy kites year round? Perhaps growing up in the south, seasons just don't make any sense, but over the years I have regularly thought about kite season. When is kite season even?

Fast forward 10 years, Eric and I landed in Bali, and what is one of the first sights that we are treated to? You guessed it.. Kites! So. many. kites. And not little beachy kites either. These were intense, and super high in the sky. We asked our driver, and he said they just had a festival, and that over the next few days the kites would come down. We were so excited to tell Jenna when we got back. It was kite season in Bali! While in Sanur, we could see the kites from our hotel room balcony, and I watched over the days as the kites came down. The day we left Sanur was the day Jenna passed. To say I miss her is an understatement. 

How do you say goodbye? Perhaps it will never get easier. Maybe thats what happens when you love someone. 

Sorry, I don't have an ending, I have just been thinking about Jenna and these kites seemingly endlessly.

Double sorry this post is so sad. 

How to do absolutely nothing. by Mialy DeFelice

Need some time off work? Use the following as a guide to ease you into doing absolutely nothing. Then enjoy all that endless, boundless free time!!

Step 1. Take a month off of work.

Step 2. Book a vacation.

Step 3. Make an impossibly long to do list.

Step 4. Clean the house from top to bottom.

Step 5. Throw away half your possessions.

Step 6. Re-clean the house.

Step 7. Paint your nails.

Step 8. Go to the library and check out a bunch of books.

Step 9. Read all the books in record time, leaving you with nothing to do.

Step 10. Spend a half hour in the pharmacy choosing a sunscreen.

Step 11. Change your mind about the sunscreen, return it, and get the one you really wanted.

Step 12. Write a blog post.

Step 13. Delete said blogpost.

Step 14. Find a recipe that will use almost all the vegetables in your refrigerator in one go. 

Step 15. Lift your 5 lb weights for 10 minutes. (exercise.)

Step 16. Do everything (everything) on your to do list.

Step 17. Feel anxious about having an empty to do list. Make up a new one.

Step 18. Buy more sunscreen.

Step 19. Search your brain desperately for something else to do.

Step 20. Go for a run, cause you have nothing better to do.

Voila. Now you have done everything you can do, so feel free to do nothing. 

Just don't get bored!

*Photo is from Alaska 2001. Film.

Life Lately. by Mialy DeFelice

The most comfortable movie theater.

The most comfortable movie theater.

Oh my. I am not great at blogging. Here are is a photo dump of life lately (Including FL)! :) 

His & Hers.

His & Hers.

Sunday laze.

Sunday laze.

Stole Eric's Sweater. Kitty. Birks.

Stole Eric's Sweater. Kitty. Birks.

Steak. Yum. But No.

Steak. Yum. But No.

Matisse Baby.

Matisse Baby.

Sistas.

Sistas.

Tweet. Tweet.

Tweet. Tweet.

Spunky Monkey.

Spunky Monkey.

Lauren. Waterfall Braid. Mo.

Lauren. Waterfall Braid. Mo.

Selfie with the Little One.

Selfie with the Little One.

Papa. Frank. Happy 80th.

Papa. Frank. Happy 80th.

Fly over... who knows...

Fly over... who knows...

Simplify that. by Mialy DeFelice

Tapestry from Merida, Mexico. :)

Tapestry from Merida, Mexico. :)

For the past couple of years I have been making conscious efforts to simplify and streamline my life. I recently started reading a book on how to make your home and work life more effortless and in the process have found that I have actually come pretty far. One part of the book talks about how forming habits allows us to do those things that we don't really love without much thought, just switch on that autopilot y'all! And guys, I have been unbeknownst to myself making habits and micro-habits like crazy. I thought it might be fun to share with you guys the things that have proved the most helpful to making my life so much simpler.

1. I minimized my wardrobe : I will go more into detail in a later post but seriously I don't have that much clothes anymore and most of it is some take on the following uniform: Jeans (mostly black), t-shirt or sweater (neutral color) worn with boots or ballet flats, in the summer with sandals. I always wear a bracelet on my left arm, a watch on my right, and I always (always) wear a necklace (I have about 5 to choose from). Voila. Thats what I wear every day. It might be boring but it works and has taken the guess work out of dressing. I only buy clothes sparingly and its only things I really love.

2. We minimized our possessions: We now don't have a ton of excess things in our house (the one exception might be the kitchen... we have 3 sets of measuring cups...). Everything has a place and is super easy to find. This has made our life immeasurably easier.

3. I made a morning routine: I have a very defined morning routine, I didn't consciously make it, but it exists nonetheless. It is also contains a couple of little micro routines, my chemex coffee ritual and my super simple makeup routine :). My mornings are now no muss no fuss, and more importantly calming.

4. I meal prep on Sundays: This takes place in a few steps. (1) Sunday morning I wake up early and pick out all the recipes of what we will eat in the week (2) I write up a grocery list, and check that puppy twice (3) we hit the farmers market first, then head off to trader joes (4) I make the food. I tend to pick simple food, and mainly prep what we will be eating for breakfast and lunch that week while making sure we have all the ingredients on hand for weekday meals. Meal prepping saved my sanity.

It is a little nuts to me that I have actually made all of these habits. 

When we moved out here I decided that things were going to be different. All of these changes took place in the past couple of years (though we started minimizing some back in Rochester), and meal prep Sunday is a habit that I started cultivating only after we got back from Mexico, but is one that I will not part with now. I still have not made a habit of working out and I have not quite found a way to make a habit of the awful chore of cleaning, but now that I know I am finally capable of habits I think these are the things I am going to try to go for next.

Anyway, that was a pretty long and random post, sorry!

Have a wonderful day!! 

Toast for two. by Mialy DeFelice

When it comes to breakfast philosophy Eric and I have wildly different ideas on what constitutes an amazing one.  He generally skews to the sweet, while I have a firm belief that waffles and pancakes are not breakfast but dessert, and as such go for the savory.  This morning we had some extra french bread to use up.  My favorite, avocado toast, was top of mind while Eric totally fixated on French toast.  So deux toasts it was. 

I am generally terrible at making french toast. The middle is soggy and the edges are butter burnt.  The angst usually turns me away.  But a little googling led me to this tip sheet from Bon Appetit on how to avoid some common french toast mistakes.  This led me to leave out the sugar from the batter, let each side soak for 10 minutes and use butter and oil for the pan.  After cooking at a strictly medium heat, the toast came out perfectly.  For the topping I made a berry compote using this recipe from The Minimalist Baker, using some frozen berries.  It all turned out perfectly.

My toast was much simpler.  Two slices of bread and half an avocado mashed with a fork.  I toasted the bread then spread with the avocado, and topped with paprika, salt and pepper. Yummy!

Anyway, sorry for a whole post about our breakfast, it was just so yummy, and fun to make :)

Up Up Update! by Mialy DeFelice

LA. December 2014.

LA. December 2014.

Welcome to the new and improved Because We're Terrible!!!  This new blog layout was so fun to make.  You can't see it but I actually made 3 different potential blog layouts and 4 different logos, before landing the final design.  It was a ton of work, but I am so happy with the final look.   I hope you like the added features, and that everything is easier to use.  I have a new Photos tab, that I hope to update periodically.  You can either click through to a specific gallery from the drop down menu, or just click on "Photos" to see mini slideshow of a photo from each category :)

Anyway, I'm terribly happy about how everything looks now!

Also, I have some awesome news!

And since I am not a good planner, I do not have pictures of me popping a cork on a bottle of champagne... I just have a picture of the bottle, and some other food related highlights from the evening...

but... 

I got into Stanford for graduate school! Woot woot!!  Applying for graduate school has been a process that has been infinitely more stressful this time around then when I was 22.  But I got some great comments, and I am oh so happy and proud, if I do say so myself.  So we celebrated with some real champagne, some cocktails and dessert waffles (because they are not breakfast!). 

Anyways, we are off today for a wine tour in Sonoma!! Have a wonderful weekend!!